Gotta Love Anxiety

Have you ever been so nervous about make sure something goes right that you self sabotage it into going wrong? Well, that’s how my day looked. Today was Oliver’s first day of his CUBS class and I wasn’t able to get him there on time. I live over an hour and a half from Oliver’s class and am not the best city navigator. I left the house almost 3 years before the class started, to ensure that we would be there early to change his diaper and warm up/adjust to the new building before class started. Being the skill lacking city driver that I am, I planned (and even practiced) going a back way, with minimal freeway time. So, this lovely morning, I was admiring the gorgeous Autumn colors, was imagining Oliver thriving in his new class, and even drove through the end of a rainbow– then I pulled up to the road that took me the back way. This mostly uninhabited road wasn’t as I had remembered it; the road was barricaded off with multiple signs and construction trucks that plan to be working on this specific project for, at least, the next month. I have experienced anxiety many times in my life and this panic feeling started showing itself yet again, as I pulled up to this sight. After reevaluating, I headed down a different road and saw a misleading sign, so I pulled over and went into the Maps app on my phone. I simply typed in the name of the center, as the clock was ticking, and in doing so I failed to choose the correct office. I suppose that I had forgotten, out of stress, that there are two different locations. I’m always reluctant to use the Maps app because it has always taken me weird ways that I wouldn’t normally choose to go. I went through fancy neighborhoods for roughly an hour, got on several random highways, did 15 instructed U-turns, then ended up at the wrong office. Being in residential areas most of the drive there, it was hard to tell what city I was in, or I would have turned around and rerouted. So, pulling up to the wrong office at 12:27 (for a 12:30 class) after hectic aimless driving with a screaming kiddo was enough to send me into an anxiety ridden cry session. All I wanted was to make a good first impression and make sure Oliver had the best day possible, but I guess that wasn’t in the cards for us. I felt reluctant to share this, but this blog is about sharing our journey– I think, in addition to the ‘ups’, I should make sure and include the ‘downs’ (even if they’re embarrassing).

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3 thoughts on “Gotta Love Anxiety

  1. I am sure this was hard for you to write, but I am so glad that you posted this. You worked so hard preparing to make sure everything was going to go as smooth as it possibly could for Oliver’s first day in class. You have done such an amazing job in doing everything you can for that sweet boy. It just goes to show you that even with the best laid plans…LIFE HAPPENS! We can try our best and some days it just doesn’t work out. Sharing the good with the bad is going to help others know that it is going to be ok regardless.

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